Every Christmas season I look forward to watching festive holiday movies with my family. He's a list of my top ten family friendly movies you should watch with your clan. These are in no particular order.

1. A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)
    
2. Frosty the Snowman (1969)
    
3. Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)
    
4. Elf (2003)
    
5. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) and 1966 version
    
6. A Christmas Story (1983)
    
7. The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)
    
8. It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
    
9. White Christmas (1954)
    
10. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Enjoy!

It's been nearly 6 weeks since my last post. Coincidentally, I have a six week old baby girl who was welcomed into this world only two days after that last post. Baby Bridget is allowing mom and dad to retool our newborn skills and again making us question whether or not we have even the faintest idea of how to take care of a baby.

And that's how it goes, at least for me. One moment I feel like I am the master of the baby. In one fluid series of events, I can feed her, change her, soothe her, and lay her down for nap #18. The next moment I am fluttering aimlessly, like a tiny helpless bird in a ruthless storm, simply trying to find a safe place to land. Crying, fussing, vomiting, and casting angry looks make me wonder how any human being makes it past this stage. But, despite these moments, we somehow trudge our way through and produce beautiful, healthy children.

Here's a sleep deprived poem for my baby girl, Bridget:

Eat, Poop, Sleep, and Cry Baby Bridget

Upon the stately stoop of life
You make your presence full of strife.
You cause many tears of happiness
And make your folks feel truly blessed.

The nurses, docs, and other folks
Help us realize this ain't no joke.
And once they say you're free to go
Mom and dad think, "oh no, we won't go"

But the task is ours, we understand
We have to do this hand in hand.
So, we take deep breaths and sigh real loud
And accept that life has beat its brow

Baby Bridget, let's do this thing
Our job is nurturing
You get to eat and sleep, that's all, that's all
We get to feed and soothe, that's all, that's all

But wait! You're grunting once again
Oh, man, oh man
"I just changed you four times in the last ten minutes!"

Please let's be efficient, let's be systematic
Let not chaos reign, that would be tragic
You're crying again, you're dry and warm,
Oh yeah, it's been two hours since we started this round.

Fine, let's start all over again
Then hopefully you'll be tired and turn in
Eat, Cry, Poop, that's what you do
Eat, Cry, Poop, where's the sleep, where's the sleep.

Ah, the moment's here, you finally sleep,
Mommy and daddy listen for your weep.
And yes it comes, sooner than we hope
You open your eyes and let the world know we're dopes

"Did you really think I'd sleep long, daddy?" You think
At least I'm sure that's your thought when I wink
We start the round once more,
You eat a little....  then begin to snore

Oh no you don't, "you wake up, young lady"
"I'm exhausted, and want to go to bed"
"Finish the task and then you'll be full"
"And we both can sleep for short little lull"

And then you scream because you awoke
You act like it was me but it was your arms that spoke
They flailed around and scared you right
And caused the bulk of your awakening fright

Then you scream and scream and scream
For what seems an eternity
Eat, Cry, Poop, that's what you do
Eat, Cry, Poop, I haven't a clue

Yet somehow we make it and finally sleep a few winks
And I think to myself, "man, this really stinks!" 
And that's when you do it, when I'm close to my wits end
You smile your very first smile and it's all warm fuzzies once again

Eat, cry, poop.... eat, cry, poop.
Eat, sleep, poop, cry, poop, eat, sleep, peat, croop, eat, sloop, pry, ceat, poop, sleep, cry, peat, croop, ......zzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZ

There's a saying, "God has given us our memories that we might have roses in December." In life, there are moments which create memories without planning or provocation. And then sometimes we work very hard to make memories that will last a lifetime. My wedding was one of those. My wife and I created a series of memories we will never forget.

This past Friday, I planned and created another memory that I will never forget because of the impact and deeper meaning it entails. My fabricated memory is shown in the picture below.

I'm on the left, my son is in front of me, my dad is on the right, and my friend since grade school, Ed Ward, aka "Rockhound", is dressed up in Navy pilot garb.This is the memory I wanted to create. I took my son out of school early (only an hour) and made my dad rush to meet us from an all day class on gang warfare (there are a whole lot of other stories there). I really wanted this picture.

Ed, now a Lieutenant Commander in the US Navy, has been flying for over seven years and I have never seen him in his flight suit or had a personal tour of the jet he flies - an FA-18 Superhornet. On Friday I did. I felt slightly bad because he was really trying to impress Ethan, my son, with all the cool things about the fighter jet. But Ethan is six and his interest comes and goes like a spastic butterfly. He was really impressing my dad and me who both think jets are pure awesomeness. We clung to his every word like a dog waiting for his owner to toss a treat. And we got some great shots, too.

Here Ed is discussing the hollow nose cone of the jet. I'm guessing that's where the co-pilot goes when one is needed.

Ethan looks into the afterburner while Ed explains how far the flames will shoot back. At this point, I wondered why we didn't have to sign a liability waiver. It's a good thing he didn't have a remote start on his key ring.

The reason for Ed's visit was to fly over the Indy 500 Festival parade and at the end over the winner's circle (video below). I'm not sure how many people I told about this but I think the numbers could create a city. The video below is from Ed's mom (I believe they are outside the track). Ed is the lead jet. I am still in awe and shock that someone I know does something this flipping cool. 

Here is Ed and his dad, retired Navy. Navy blood runs thick in their family.

This was too great an opportunity to pass by - and on Memorial Day weekend, of all times. I am eternally indebted to Ed not only for helping me fabricate this memory but also for helping to keep the world a safer place, for putting his life on the line for me, my family, friends, and all other Americans, and most importantly, for being a friend for nearly 25 years. Thanks buddy!

And this year also marks Ed's entrance into fatherhood. He had a little boy. I know he'll work hard to fabricate memories and reflect on those for the rest of his life.

As for me, my boy, and my dad, everyday is another great memory waiting to happen. I just wish I had enough brain capacity to remember every moment.

Teaching kids to ride a bike can be a difficult and frustrating and often times painful.It's how you respond to those painful moments that determine the speed at which your child learns.

One of my early experiences teaching my son ended in bruises, blood, and tears. As I ran next to him he veered right, causing me to plow into him and his bike. This resulted in me roll jumping over him to avoid further collision but the damage had been done. As I vaulted in the air over his forward falling body I clearly saw (almost in slow-motion) his chin, mouth, and nose come into contact with the concrete first. And then I hit. Ouch.

I coddled him for a little while until the major sobs made their exit. Then I did what any respectable father would do - I told him to dry his tears, get back on the bike, and ride home. My worry was that if he didn't get back on the bike immediately, we'd have an entire summer of bike-crashing fear. I convinced him to get back on by telling him I'd hold on to the back, which I did for just a bit. He finished the trip home on his own and that made him a very proud four year old.

Here are several tips to use when teaching your kids to ride a bike:

1. Cardio. This is Columbus' first rule in Zombieland. I list it as my first tip because when you're teaching your kids to ride a bike you'll be doing a lot of running. And it's not even the nice fluid running you might be used to. It's that uncomfortable half running, half walking - sort of like in high school when you were late for class, had to hurry but also didn't want to be seen running. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
   
2. Ditch the pedals.  Pedals are distracting at first when the sole goal is learning balance. They are fairly easy to remove and allow your child to forget about forward momentum. Have them keep their feet dangling and practice staying up using the handle bars. After trying this Ethan simply just got it. He figured out the steering and balance thing quickly. Before this, there was a lot of fuss over pedaling, even when I told him not to worry about it.
   
3. Don't hold on to the handle bars. By holding the handle bars you are not letting your child feel the bicycle's natural left and right movement. Instead, hold on to the back of their shirt, mid-way up the back, and guide them using a push and pull technique. Or you can hold the rear underside of the seat. By doing this, you are only providing the thrust to get the bike going. Your chilld will then feel themselves falling left or right and learn how to correct that. It's ok to catch them on their way down but you have to let them feel and recognize the fall.
   
4. Pedaling. This comes a bit easier than the whole balance thing. The biggest challenge here is understanding that forward pedaling means "go" and backward pedaling means "stop." Your child will eventually figure this out without much from you. You can practice, though, by holding their seat and having them start and stop just to get a feel for it.
   
5. Don't run behind. Reread my story above if you don't get this. I was on the side but we were going fast enough that it didn't matter when my son veered in front of me.
6. Practice falling. How you get off a bike is just as important as how you get on a bike. If you're child feels like they can't recover from falling have them practice putting their feet down. Finding a nice patch of grass isn't a bad idea either.
   
7. Getting going. This has been the hardest part for me and my kids. Getting started requires strength, coordination, and determination. The strength part can be remedied by starting on a slight decline. For coordination, have your child bring the pedal up to the top position on the opposite site of the bike. Then have them straddle the bike and push down on the pedal while kicking off with the foot on the ground. Make sure they keep pedaling or else they will never get the momentum necessary to stay up.
   
8. Confidence. Lots of praise and encouragement is needed, especially after a fall. All I can say about this is lay it on thick. Make sure they know that they are doing these things by themselves and not because of you.
   
9. Picking a Venue. I've found one of the best places to learn to ride a bike is in a school parking lot on the weekend. They are almost always empty and there is a great deal of room for the not-so-straight paths your child might take.
   
10. Have fun. Yeah, that. Don't forget about this part by making the lessons a living nightmare for your child. Riding bikes is supposed to be fun and you're the MC.

Last night, I played the role of super dad. I took the kids to swimming lessons, made dinner, gave showers, mowed and trimmed the lawn, fertilized, put the kids to bed, and then cleaned up the kitchen. But that's not why I was super dad.

I was super dad because when I tucked the kids in at 8;20 I explicitly told them no books and no games and that it was time to close eyes and go to sleep. My sweet little princess of a girl did not obey that.When I finished my work outside and came back in at 9 pm, Serena was still wide awake reading a book in her bed. Uh oh.

This is when it is hard to be a parent. When I walked into her room she flashed me the biggest smile like she was so happy to see me. This kind of welcoming smile is enough to melt even the iciest of hearts. I could have easily said "Hi sweetie, it's time for bed. Let's put the books down and close our eyes" But that would have been the second time I told her to do that. And this happens often enough to require some discipline and correcting.

My response to her, without smile (which is really hard for me) and without yelling, was "Serena, what did I ask you to do the last time I was in here?"

She said, starting to quiver, "Go to sleep."

"Yes," I said, "And what are you doing?"

"Reading a book."

"So, you're not following directions?" I asked.

"No," by now the lips have formed into their near breakdown, pouty little girl lips that girls are so good at doing. Often times it's a performance, rather than true feelings coming out.

"So, you didn't follow directions or do as you were told. This makes me very angry and little girls who don't do what they are told don't get to do fun things. Tomorrow night is Friday and usually we watch a movie together but you won't get to watch that movie with us now because you disobeyed your daddy. It's time to turn off the lights and go to bed and while you're trying to fall asleep, you should think about how important it is to listen to you mom and dad. Goodnight"

Of course, I then leave the room feeling awful because she has turned into a blubbering mess and I hate seeing her cry like that. But I know the lessons given now will have a dramatic impact on shaping her character, personality, and self-discipline as she gets older.

We've seen the same thing from when the kids were toddlers. Our efforts of giving our children boundaries then have paid dividends today. Our kids, though wild as children are at times, do listen, respect others, and are very well-rounded little people.

Time and time again I see parents not disciplining their toddlers. They say, "oh, he's only two and doesn't know any different." I could have said the same with my daughter (who's 4 1/2). "Oh, she's only 4, she's so cute." And sometimes I do that but I also look for the opportunities to correct bad behaviors when they start to form - and that's at ages 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, etc.

Here's a great article about parents having to be stern about the way their kids dress - Parents, don't dress your girls like tramps. My favorite line is "... but I'm his father, not his friend." And this is the lesson every parent has to keep in mind. Making their little girl or boy cry is simply a natural response to not getting what they want or hearing stern remarks about their behavior. Not doing this will lead a child into a life without boundaries or where boundaries are visible but ignored. I can give so many examples of this and have seen the destructive power of the "parent as a friend' method. It doesn't work.

It's best for everyone that parents make their kids cry from time to time. And if it helps, after they are sobbing away and have heard the lesson, parents can run to their own room and have a little cry for themselves.

As beautiful and enjoyable spending time with my family is, I still need a place to escape from time to time. I spend my work day with a seemingly constant flow of questions and needs, fires to put out, plans to plan, and normal day to day operations that seem unending. Then I come home, have dinner with the family, make sure homework gets done, get the kids ready for bed, and come back downstairs to cleanup after dinner and do any other necessary home maintenance and cleanup tasks. When I finally get a moment to take a break it's about 9 PM or later. I need an escape.

In January, I finally began building my escape. My man cave. Or as I like to calll it the men's room (It just sounds funnier that way).

I'm lucky enough to have a room in my basement that has three solid walls, no windows and is the furthest distance from any sleeping areas of the house. That way I can make a lot of noise and not worry about keeping everyone up.

The project took about two and half months total. My son, Ethan (6), helped out tremendously which was quite fun. He used saws, drills, nail guns, and helped paint. He is a surprisingly great painter. Jessica was very weary of having him paint but I figured there was only one way to learn and get better. My two rules to him were "no drips and no glops." For two days of one weekend, he helped me paint three solid hours each day without a break. I couldn't believe it! He painted 90% of the trim and the riser.

Here are some pictures of the project:

(ABOVE) This is a view of the wall during construction that will soon be the screen. You can see the holes we added to run wiring for the lights and speakers. You can see the cutaway at the bottom of the front wall where the built-in cabinets will go.

Sconces on the left and right were added. Front and back are controlled independently so I can turn the front off completely during a movie and dim the back row.

(ABOVE) Here you can see more speaker holes and you can see the start of the riser in the back. In total, my friend Greg and I cut eight holes into the drywall. Luckily, that room has this weird double stud wall (two walls of insulation) where the inner wall has no 2x4 top plate. This made it incredibly easy to snake wires down the ceiling joists to the opposite wall.

(ABOVE) This is a direct view of the riser. This was probablly the most fun for me and Ethan. As we built the frame I let him pull the trigger on the nail gun while I positioned and held it. I would yell, "ready.... FIRE!" each time. We had quiite the giggle-fest doing this.

(ABOVE) Here's a great picture of my helper with the smaller pneumatic brad nailer. He was able to use this tool all by himself. I drew the lines where the joists were located on the riser floor and he simply nailed up the line.

I will admit, I did pay Ethan $2.50/hr because he was saving up for something (probably a DS game) and I wanted to help him earn it. In a couple weekends time he made $15-$20.

(ABOVE) The most important piece!! I finished the screen using Goo Systems reflective screen paint (similar to painting normally). The screen size is around 118" diagonally. The two front speakers are Klipsche satellite speakers (came free with the receiver), the other speakers are Energy 5.1 Take Classic. They all sound fantastic for their price point. I'm no audiophile and am very happy with the quality.

The projector is an Epson PowerLite Home Cinema 8350. It is a 1080p projector at a great price point. Animated films like Toy Story 3 and How to Train Your Dragon are incredibly vivid!

The built-in cabinets under the screen took the longest to complete. I wanted them to be flush with the wall and hide all the electronics. By doing this I eliminated infrared remotes and had to upgrade to the Harmony 900 that uses RF and an IR blaster. It's a lot more than I ever believed I'd spend on a remote but it makes the entire operation accessible not only by one remote through RF but to the entire family. All you have to do is press the activity you want and it automatically turns all the right equipment on and changes to the correct sources. The choices are "Watch Movies," "Watch TV," and "Play XBOX."

(ABOVE) Side view looking into the room.

(ABOVE) Here's the finished seating with the riser. I had another love seat I could have added but it seemed like overkill. We haven't run out of seating with a few overnight guests and a 1st grade movie night. I think we're good with seating quantity. Now we just need to get some new, non hand-me-down furniture. But, other than being ugly, it works well so new furniture is a long way off.

To round this all up, I added an HTPC (home theater PC) running XBMC Live (XBOX Media Center Live). Here's a video of what this looks like using the Night skin (ignore the background music they added) . This was the keystone of the entire project and took the longest time setting up but once it was done it was definitely worth the effort!

And there it is folks.

Every man needs an escape, especially dads.

Right now, I'm sitting in my basement with my family. The two kids are passed out and my wife is spending quality time with her iPhone. I am tired. I used to get a lot more excited about storms but now I am simply annoyed because each time a bad night storm rolls through, I have to wake up the kids and wife and get them into the basement.

Tonight, at 7 pm, a tornado watch was issued until 3 am. I'm amazed that they can actually call it eight hours in advance. That's some science. But knowing that far in advance just added to my aggravation. Steven Covey would be upset that I'm letting forces outside my circle of influence get to me. But then I'd remind him that I am outside his circle of influence so he shouldn't let my actions affect his mood.

We probably have another hour of this storm and, though I'm still annoyed, I am incredibly grateful that I have a place to comfortably go. I'm sitting in a comfortable chair in an area of my basement where there are no windows. I have solid earth in two directions, a storage room and playroom in the other two directions, and two floors above my head. I feel farily safe. Not everyone has this luxury and this makes me wonder what sort of safety precautions others take.

I am probably a bit over the top when it comes to weather safety. I have a weather alert radio on my night stand, Radar Scope on my iPhone, GRLevel3 on my laptop, the tv on with those absurd drama queens we call weather reporters, and, of course, good old intuition. I've seen multiple times the damage a tornado can do, though, with the closest only a couple miles from my last house. I found mail in my yard from homes in other counties. That's serious stuff.

They say when a tornado hits, chances are you won't know it until it's on top of you. I might take that chance with just myself but not my family. As cranky as we all are walking down to the basement at 2am, I feel a whole lot safer just in case our home becomes the unlucky home in a tornado's path.

This might be a good time to discuss your own family's weather safety practices and see if you know enough to keep them safe. Check out the National Weather Service safety guidelines for more information.

Honestly, this is one of the most ridiculous games I've played in a long time. Ethan received Bakugan for his sixth birthday (I think) and we've played it twice. I think the game is crap. But for some strange reason boys love it - I'm guessing because there are battles and the game pieces are cool when they spring open.

The first time I played we didn't get it at all. We gave up quickly and I think I just pulled the "You Win" act and quit. But since he wanted to play it again this past weekend, I didn't put up a fight. I sent him to YouTube to find a video on how to play but still had to read the rules from the grossly over-simplified instruction manual. Imagine a "3 easy steps to play canasta" and you might get an idea of how vague the instructions were.

So here you go, how to play Bakugan. I picked the video narrated by an Austrialian kid because it sounded cool!

Baby number three is on the way and I have spent the last month or more looking for the hardware to put our crib back together. The crib was stored in the attic with, what I assumed, were the nuts and bolts. They weren't there.... but where did I put them?

Over the following weeks, many conversations ensued between my wife, Jessica, and I as to where the hardware might be. I received a lot of flack about misplacing it and my response was "how do you know it was me that misplaced it. I could have very well put it in a logical place, one of the places I've already looked, and then you moved it during one of your cleaning or organizing sessions."  As with all my rebuttles it got a smirk and then fell on deaf ears.

The search continued. I looked in the attic three times, i looked in the basement storage room at least four times, then the countless bins of baby clothes ready to be covered in baby vomit, pee, and poop, and I even looked in all the kid's closets and dresser drawers. Hardly a stone went unturned in my search, yet no hardware.

Jess did what only her nesting & planning ways could allow with only two and a half months before baby #3 joins us - she ordered a new kit of hardware for the crib - $43 for a small handful of nuts and bolts - . I made fun and just accepted my search and rescue fate: failed.

Tonight, I decided to put the crib together. I emptied the new hardware onto the floor, placed the rails and ends into their appropriate positions for assembly and then went to work. That's when I noticed the obvious flaw in my search and rescue plan. The hardware I've so excruciatingly sought was already attached to the crib, in its rightful place, waiting for its moment of glory to, once again, be part of its fully assembled self. Somehow, in the sad humor of the moment, I won. And even though I didn't see the hardware attached to the crib in the first place, spent hours looking everywhere for it, and ending up wasting $43 on replacment hardware, I won.

The agony of multiple early defeats pales in comparison to the minory victory I just had. I won the war with that crib. I endured and prospered in the end. You can say what you will and try to figure out how it was actually a victory but it doesn't matter. May the crib assembly gods be proud of me because I won.

Think of the biggest, toughest man you know. Now, imagine him on his hands and knees making little kitty noises. What could bring such a strong, confident man to this point of vulnerability? His children, of course!

Boys are taught from early childhood to act tough and to not appear weak. No dad wants his boy to be a Sally. So, we condition them to be men from very early on. We do the same thing with girls in some cases. If they fall down, we tell them to shake it off. If someone hurts their feelings, we tell them it's not worth crying about and that feelings will get hurt a lot growing up.That's part of the job of a dad.

Give us the chance, though, and we'll drop to the floor and start meowing like a cat just to make our kids laugh. No tough guy act. A momentary lapse of being "a man."

Dad's who play with their kids regularly and who step out of the typical fatherly tough guy role can help instill a greater sense of confidence in their kids lives. Kids are taught constantly to be and act a certain way. It's hard, though, to always act like that. Being silly with your dad shows that it's ok to step out of those typical guidelines from time to time.

As children grow older these experiences give them confidence to not only be silly but to know that it's ok to make mistakes. If we're taught to be and act a certain way, then surely we'll make a mistake and step out of bounds.

Our main jobs as fathers is to help our children grow into strong, capable, confident, and well-balanced grown-ups. We have to show, by example, how to do this. Being silly with our children is one way to show that it's ok to have fun and step out of the constraints of our typical day.

I never miss the chance to be silly with my kids and I hope you don't either. Take a few minutes today and meow like a kitten for your kids!

This past week I had to prepare and run my son's Cub Scouts activity about MyPyramid.If you don't know, this is the new food pyramid, devised in 2005 by the US Department of Agriculture.

As I was putting together the activity, I ran across an interesting link that allowed me to calculate the cost of kids. They call it The Cost of Raising a Child Calculator.So, I plugged in my information to see what crazy numbers it might come up with.

I was stunned to see that the results were not that far off (for me). I think I walked through the five stages of grief because I started with outright denial and ended with acceptance. Here are the calculated results for my two kids, ages 6 and 4.

Besides the outright depression of seeing these kinds of numbers, I don't think they are too far off. The biggest difference for us is the cost of child care and education. The cost of my four year old's day care is definitely not $86 per week ($4,510 per year). The USDA must be talking with the IRS because they seem to believe it only costs about $6000 total per year for daycare. That doesn't even cover the cost of one kid!

We are expecting our third child this year. That decision was as much a financial one as it was a decision of simply wanting to have another child. It is somewhat sad that wanting to have another kid came down to finances. But when you look at the costs of having a kid, it really has to be. The whole idea of "well, we'll just make it work" doesn't always yield positive results. I'd prefer not to have the whole family sink into the poor house because the third kid costs too much.

Every family is different, though. Both my wife and me work. So, the cost of a child is drastically increased by the need for daycare. If you have one parent stay at home or a relative to watch the kids for free then the cost of daycare is not a factor. The choice to send your kids to public school or private school is also a factor.

Regardless of your particular situation, there are costs. New babies require diapers (lots of them), wipes, butt cream, formula, clothes, doctors appointments, and the list goes on and on. Older kids require more expensive clothes, school expenses (even in public schools), fees for extra-curricular activities, food, gas, car seats, doctors, etc.

Kids are incredible little people but they are expensive. If you decide to have another child, be sure to plan properly. The added expenses, if not planned for, can quickly increase family stress levels as mom and dad try to compensate. This affects not only the parents but the kids as well. And as a dad who interacts with other people's kids on a regular basis, I appreciate your kids not being sad, angry, depressed, or stressed out when I'm with them (besides the normal kid ups and downs).

Happy, stress-free moms and dads lead to happy families that then lead to happy little boys and girls.

Christmas around the Zentz family is a highly festive time. There are decorations, music, movies, cookies, singing (lots of singing), gifts, and fantastic meals. I feel incredibly blessed to be able to experience such joy every holiday season.

With that joy, however, comes many battles, such as whose family do we visit on Christmas day, should we put the gifts under the tree before Santa arrives, have we purchased gifts evenly for all the kids, do we still get gifts for the dogs, and the list goes on and on. The term "battles" might be a little dramatic but what holiday season doesn't have its slice of drama?

The biggest battle each year is whose parents we're visiting. My wife's parents live in South Bend and my family lives in Indianapolis. Each side wants to get together on Christmas day because that's what we've always done. Anyone that is married with kids has certainly experienced this discussion.

I really hate deciding whose family we visit because someone always gets left out. So here are a few solutions that may help you in deciding which side to visit this season.

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# 1 - Create a Bidding System

Why should we have to make the decision when our families can make it for us? Let's start a bidding system where each side bids on us joining them on Christmas Day. Host it on ebay and send 50% of the winning bid amount to the losing family as compensation for their loss. The other 50% goes to a charity of the winning family's choice. Simple enough. It's a win-win-win situation.

# 2 - Use an Arbitrator

Arbitrators are used when both sides want to avoid lengthy and expensive legal cases. Both sides must agree to abide by the decision of the arbitrator. Most importantly, the arbitrator cannot have any ties to either side. I would recommend using a college referee, if possible. Just avoid Teddy Valentine because his poor officiating still haunts my IU basketball dreams.

Here's how it goes. Each side unfolds their case for having us at their house (my wife and me wait patiently off to one side). A few healthy, and possibly heated, arguments spring up but this is ok. Everybody needs to vent. Once each side is completed the arbitrator will decide. If Teddy Valentine makes the call (after unwisely not heeding my advice) then everyone will get a technical foul and be ejected from the game.

#3 - VISIT A BEACH

Invite both sides of the family to some remote, warm, and tropical beach. Have pool side service and enjoy the nice ocean breeze. Everybody wins big here. It's the clear winner. The only problems begin when discussing who's going to pay for it.

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So there you have it. Three fail-safe ways to assist you with your decision on whose family to visit this holiday season. Good luck and remember.... no Teddy Valentine.